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Keywords:

• They found my secret blog.

Comment: Let's not acknowledge it.

Keywords:

• Don't put much stock into promises.

Comment: People can say anything.

Keywords:

• Try a more convincing lie.

Comment: No one is falling for it.

Keywords:

• Running only on cognitive dissonance.

Comment: And my supply is infinite.

Keywords:

• Today is a new day!

Comment: A new day to whoop ass with a broom!

Keywords:

• She broke her finger today.

Comment: But on the other hand she was fine.

Keywords:

• Got no intention of listening to that.

Comment: It just sounds like white noise.

Keywords:

• I'll hit the next fool who speaks.

Comment: Just test me.

Keywords:

• Sorry but I'm allergic.

Comment: Allergic to morons.

Keywords:

• No! No! Just close the book!

Comment: Don't look at the contents!

Keywords:

• You've gotta stop saying "erotica".

Comment: It's romantic prose. Of a sexual nature.

Keywords:

• One day the sun will shine again.

Comment: And when it does, I hope it's on me.

Keywords:

• The stars seem a little closer.

Comment: Probably because I'm here with you.

Keywords:

• Just make an effort.

Comment: [gun emoji]

Keywords:

• He didn't even bother to text!

Comment: What kind of person just CALLS someone?

Keywords:

• You ever heard of toe beans?

Comment: No? Let me get my phone!

Keywords:

• The answer is "cuz I say so".

Comment: Do you need anything else? No?

Keywords:

• No. I'm not a person.

Comment: Just a well crafted mannequin.

Keywords:

• I have the strongest urge to scream.

Comment: Possibly at you. Still thinking.

Keywords:

• Speak clearly if you wanna be heard!

Comment: Put some base in your voice!

Keywords:

• You're going to have to do much better.

Comment: SO much better than that if you want my attention.

Keywords:

• Feels like smoke in my throat.

Comment: I can't speak or even breathe.

Keywords:

• Sometimes I just tune out.

Comment: Usually when jerks are talking. No cares what they have to say.

Keywords:

• One of us is probably furious.

Comment: Surprise, it's me!

Keywords:

• Thinking about spilt milk.

Comment: Not actual milk; it's worse. Feelings.

Keywords:

• I'm a happy person but an angry girl.

Comment: Why? Because I deserve more credit.

Keywords:

• There's no such thing as rice milk.

Comment: It's rice juice. Be honest.

Keywords:

• If I don't move... They won't notice me.

Comment: It'll be like I'm invisible.

Keywords:

• Know what it means? Means he's a liar.

Comment: That's what it means.

Keywords:

• You can never have too many cats.

Comment: Anyone who says otherwise is a quitter.

Keywords:

• Nothing goes over my head!

Comment: I'm too fast! I'll catch it!

Keywords:

• Coffee gives me the illusion I'm awake.

Comment: I'm not, but I like the ILLUSION.

Keywords:

• Maybe it won't last forever.

Comment: But, it's good enough for now.

Keywords:

• It puts a little spring in my step!

Comment: You know, just thinking of you.

Keywords:

• Never met a cat I didn't like.

Comment: Even when they bite.

Keywords:

• Please tip your bakers.

Comment: They really knead it.

Keywords:

• Synonym buns!

Comment: Favourite dessert of thesauruses worldwide.

Keywords:

• The bakery burned down!

Comment: My business is toast.

Keywords:

• Why'd the cookie go to hospital?

Comment: It felt crumby.

Keywords:

• Always wanted to join a choir.

Comment: But icing terribly.

Keywords:

• A fish? In orbit?

Comment: It's in trouter space!

Keywords:

• On a scale of one to hmmm?

Comment: ... Nah.

Keywords:

• Why would you DO that?

Comment: Why would ANYONE do that??

Keywords:

• My best friend Sherloaf Holmes...

Comment: ... is bread.

Keywords:

• It was Professor Morayarty.

Comment: He's eely evil.

Keywords:

• I was fired from the calendar factory.

Comment: I don't know why; all I did was take a day off.

Keywords:

• Out in the open.

Keywords:

• Do you think we got away with it?

Keywords:

• Summer is our time!

Comment: It's the time for the students! And the beach! Mostly the beach!

Keywords:

• It's important not to judge.